It’sthe start of the new year, 2018 and I can feel God is on the verge of something new.
2017 left my husband and me dry, empty, hopeless, and helpless. While it pains me to admit it, for a moment in time, I lost my hope in God’s promises. Things felt way too real, too heavy, and too difficult last year.
I quit working at the rehab center I loved and began working as a preschool teacher.
Tim grew bitter with his boss after discouraging news that he (we) had been lied to.
Tim also injured his shoulder twice at work due to the nature of his job.
He was then let go over text message (the nerve).
We had gotten letters of our wages being garnished (thankfully from previous jobs) as a result of our outstanding debts.
We got taken to court because of said outstanding debt.
Tim started his career as a personal trainer at UFC Gym, but making much less (at the moment) than he was.
Both Tim and I were new to our professions and had to fight to learn the ropes of our new careers. For me, it was lesson planning, prepping, delegating work, and getting to know my co-workers and how our school operates. For Tim, it was training, learning sales, and obtaining and maintaining steady client flow so he could get paid.
Add all of these up and top it off with the constant demands of everyday life – bills, living with family, cooking, cleaning, maintaining health, spending time with friends, saving money, etc. – and you’ve got yourself the recipe for chaos.
There were other little struggles we had in the midst of all of these things, all of which added to the weight of the load we felt we were carrying independently. Neither of us had any idea how it would get better and for a moment, just a few months ago, we believed it wouldn’t.
Yet in the midst of our despair, right in the middle of the craziness, God spoke: we would be debt free in a year. A year.
Prior to this prophetic word spoken over us by a pastor from church, I had given up on dreaming. Life was much too daunting for dreams to grow and flourish. Everywhere I looked, I saw impossibility – no money, a pit of debt, living with family, struggling to get by – it was just discouraging.
But God spoke some very wise words through a very wise friend of mine:
God would never discourage you from a dream. He gives discernment, not discouragement. If a dream is not for you, He would tell you. But he would never discourage you. It is not the character of God.
Those words alone helped me to dream again. I went back to the wonderment of God, anticipating His best, anxiously waiting for the day His promises come flooding in.
As I stand here at the tip of the new year, I am confident in our waiting season. I am confident that great, amazing, remarkable things are going to happen this year that only God could get recognition for. I can feel my spirit surging with joy the minute my fingers leave the keys. While life may not always be rainbows and butterflies, it is the struggle that builds a story.
Our story will be one of miracle and of promise.
Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who promised is faithful. (Hebrews 10:23)
Happy New Year.